


You can have Manhattan

by abucketofwigs



Series: Manhattan [1]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 16:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abucketofwigs/pseuds/abucketofwigs
Summary: She can’t just stand still waiting around for Regina to chase her.Regina’s not going to chase her.





	You can have Manhattan

**Author's Note:**

> Here's whatever this is. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Title from "Manhattan" by Sara Bareilles. While I was writing I listened to the Ashley De La Rosa cover though.

By the time Janis pushes open the doors to the entrance of their shared apartment building, she’s no longer shaking. The cold hits her, causing her to gasp for air, her throat raw and hurting from screaming. She gulps down the cool night air in deep breaths, tightening her jacket around her. Her anxiety still twisted tight in her stomach. She can’t just stand still waiting around for Regina to chase her.

Regina’s not going to chase her.

She turns to the left, making her way down the street lamp lit sidewalk. The streets aren’t crowded for a Saturday night. Janis buries her hands into the pockets of her coat, her cold fingers wrapping around the small box she’s been hiding. A few couples pass by her holding hands making Janis slink back into her coat more. It’s cold and damp, and all Janis wishes is that Regina was walking next to her, tugging Janis’ arm around her.

_Regina_

The girl she moved to New York for. The one still upstairs in _their_ apartment. The one who she’s spent the past hour and a half arguing with. Who she’s been arguing with for the past two weeks straight.

They haven’t seemed to catch a break these past few weeks, both too busy with their respective jobs and upcoming projects that are taking up too much of their time. This was supposed to be their date night. The first night in what feels like months they devote only too each other, but their plans rarely ever go through perfectly. Regina had left her phone on at the table. and every five seconds her assistant from work was texting her to get approval on a new dress that Regina is designing, and Janis could hardly get a word in without Regina being on her damn phone. So Janis started the argument. She started it and dinner had turned from a one-sided conversation to a sudden screaming match and then-

_“Maybe we just don’t fit together anymore, Janis.”_

Janis gets caught at a crosswalk, Regina’s voice echoing in her head. It knocks the breath out of her all over again. Regina had said those words. The words that Janis had felt building for days now. She could see them in Regina’s eyes; hear them turning and twisting in the space Regina left between her and Janis in bed. Janis had been wishing with every ounce in her that those words wouldn’t come; that her and Regina could work through it without them coming up, but they hadn’t, and Regina had said them, and Janis doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

Does she just give up? Let Regina’s words become permanent and pack her things? Will she let Regina have the apartment? No, Janis loves that space just as much as Regina does. That wouldn’t work.

Janis ducks around more people, keeping her head low in case she runs into someone familiar. The chances are really next to none, but she doesn’t want to risk it. She hated the pace of the city when she first moved; too fast compared to Evanston and the train just as crowded if not more. Regina had changed that, though, tugged her along for weekend shopping trips or walks to their favorite coffee shop. Of course, Regina loved the pace and the chaos of it all; this is the girl who turned the entire female population of North Shore against each other junior year. Regina has always been in love with this city. In middle school, she had a poster on her wall of Times Square at night. Thirteen-year-old Regina loved the idea of Times Square, but it’s the only spot in all of New York that twenty-five-year-old Regina somewhat hates.

Janis stops on the corner of the small bar that their odd little group of successful people from Evanston, Illinois, meet at weekly. Inside, the bar is lively and loud from the live band. Janis leans back against the building, pressing the palms of her hands against the brick. The entrance to the bar swings open and a blonde pulls a darker haired girl out the door.

_“It’s too early to leave.” Janis whines, “Damian and Gretchen were about to have a tap dance-off.”_

_Regina laughs, smelling a lot like whatever fruity drink she had and a little of beer. She turns around and letting go of Janis’ hand. She reaches out, twisting her fingers into the girl’s jacket before making her walk backwards. She presses Janis back against the wall, stumbling forward to kiss her quick and hard. Janis fumbles to slide her hands across Regina’s hips, pulling her closer._

_Regina kisses her once more before pulling away. Janis chases after her for another._

_“If you take me home right now, I promise that it’ll be worth leaving.”_

Janis remembers feeling a little drunk and a whole lot of in love with Regina that night. Now she’s sober, and the heaviness in her chest doesn’t feel like she’s in love. This feels a lot like heartbreak.

Janis keeps walking past the bar. She can’t leave the city if her and Regina break up. This is her home, too. Somehow this city has wedged its way into her heart. Janis’ fingers curl tighter around the box. Regina made her fall in love with New York, and even if things do end with Regina she’d have to stay. Her entire life is here.

Janis takes a right, picks up her pace for a little bit until she comes to a stop in front of her and Regina’s favorite coffee shop. It’s too late for it to even be open, but it doesn’t stop Janis from peering in through the dark windows.

_“Isn’t this place the best?” Regina asks._

_Janis hums, glancing up from her sketchbook. Regina takes a sip from her iced coffee, raising her eyebrows at her. Janis looks around the practically empty shop before her eyes fall back on Regina. She marvels at how they’re at this point in their lives together. They’re sitting in a coffee shop in New York, and they’re together. Actually together._

_“It’s pretty cozy.” Janis agrees._

_Regina grins at her._

_“I figured that this could be our spot.” She says._

_“Our spot?”_

_“Yeah,” Regina flattens her palm against the table top, fingers just barely brushing against Janis’, “We could come here in the mornings on Saturdays sometimes. Our own little tradition.”_

_Janis smiles, “Tradition? That sounds like something big.”_

_Regina rolls her eyes, holds Janis’ hand._

_“Shut up, we already live together. Might as well start some traditions of our own.”_

_Janis squeezes her hand, “Yeah, okay, I like that.”_

Janis doesn’t remember the last time they’ve been in the coffee shop together. It must’ve been before she bought the ring. Maybe the Saturday she met with Damian to go pick it up. She’s been holding onto it for so long now.

Janis keeps walking, ignoring how her stomach tightens. So much of this city reminds her of them that it hurts. For the longest New York was all that Regina could talk about, and Janis never knew that she fit into that mix until suddenly she was here and they were moving in together. They had come back together after all those years of being enemies and had somehow finally, _finally_ became something real and right.

_“Maybe we just don’t fit together anymore, Janis.”_

Regina’s words swirl around in her head some more. Maybe she’s right. Maybe their time of being something real and right is over. Maybe they just don’t _fit_ anymore.

She stops in front of the shop her and Regina passed a few months ago. The dress Regina had pointed at it is gone from the window, but Janis still remembers the feeling.

_Janis tugs Regina along through the crowd._

_“We’re almost there. Promise.”_

_Regina snorts, “You’ve been saying that for the last fifteen minutes, Babe.”_

_“It’s not my fault my phone decided to crash before I could get the address to the Gallery.”_

_“But it is your fault that your memory is shit, and you can’t even remember the name of the building.”_

_Janis narrows her eyes over her shoulder. Regina only grins back at her._

_“Shut up.”_

_She goes to pass a few people walking in front of her, but Regina’s suddenly pulling her to a stop. Janis stumbles a little. Regina quickly drops her hand._

_“Hey, what-”_

_She turns around. Regina’s standing close to a glass window of some wedding dress place that Janis would have probably never noticed a day in her life. Her eyes are on a dress. Janis can picture how beautiful Regina would look in it._

_“One like this,” Regina says._

_If they were inside the place, Janis knows that Regina would run her fingers down the middle like they were in some movie._

_“For what?”_

_Janis doesn’t think she’s ever been more nervous. The anticipation making her stand on the balls of her feet for a couple of seconds. Regina turns to look at her. Regina’s never looked at her with this much fondness. She’s never looked more in love with her._

_“Our wedding.” She answers easily, “When you finally get around to asking me.”_

A few weeks later she bought the ring. And now here she is.

Janis keeps walking, blaming the burn in her eyes on the wind. The skyscrapers tower above her and Janis remembers how excited Regina had been about the fact that she gets to work in something like that. Janis never really got the excitement. She gets it now. Regina George thrives in the city; it’s every part of who she is.

Her grip loosens on the box.

Janis can’t be in this city without her.

She stops and turns back to the way she came. The walk back to the entrance of their apartment building feels a lot longer than it did when she first left. In the back of her mind, she wonders if maybe Regina had texted her phone to ask her to come back so they could work things out before she realized that Janis had left it on the kitchen table. Deep down, Janis knows that it’s just wishful thinking.

She stops at the entrance, pulls the box out. She stares at it, twisting it around in her hand. She doesn’t open it. She should’ve worked up the courage to propose to Regina before they got to this point. Any thought she had of doing it soon is off the table.

Janis slides the box back into her coat pocket and walks inside the building with her hands at her sides.

She lets out a slow breath before making her way into the elevator. She taps her finger against the wall closest to her. She remembers the day her and Regina moved in. Remembers the overwhelming feeling of excitement and nerves. How Regina had kissed her in this same elevator after they said goodbye to their moms and Kylie.

The elevator dings as the door slides open, and she steps onto their floor. Their apartment is the fourth door down from the elevator. Janis stands in front of the door, tracing her fingers over the number. How many times has she pressed Regina against the door and kissed her? Or ran home from her lunch break to let her in because Regina had lost her key?

Janis turns her key in the lock, pushing open the door and shuffling in. The apartment is too quiet, too heavy. She closes the door behind her, relocks it. Regina looks up at her from the couch. Her eyes red from crying and where her face was pressed against the palm her hands. Her cheeks are wet and tear stained. Janis’ chest feels tighter than before. Whatever feelings the walk had cleared come rushing back. Regina is staring at her looking every bit as heartbroken as Janis feels, and Janis has never felt more frozen. What do you say to the girl who may or may not be about to break your heart?

“Hi.”

Regina swallows, clears her throat. She leans forward, arms on her thighs as she folds her hands in front of her.

She clears her throat again, “Hey.”  


**Author's Note:**

> As always my Tumblr is abucketofwigs


End file.
